How to recognise a ‘Sufi’(male)
1. Will answer yes and no to almost all questions.
2. Will not admit his pretensions of being a Sufi.
3. Able to appear humble and bragging at the same time.
4. Able to appear knowledgeable and ignorant at the same time.
5. Big fan of miswak.
6. Always wishes he carries sweets in his pocket 24/7. But never does.
7. Loves to listen.
8. Not so in love with obeying.
9. Big on ‘Kashaf’ (a technical term for gut feeling)
10. Loves women.
11. Loves perfume.
12. Suppose to love praying.
13. A connoisseur of good food.
14. A veritable vault of stories of the Prophets, Saints and Angels.
15. Not to mention some pretty indecent jokes.
16. Witty. Or at least he tries.
17. Generally concerned about his diet (but item 13 takes precedence).
18. Has a sentimental faith in human nature.
19. Has a pragmatic view of human failings.
There are more, I guess. Feel free to add. Hehehe.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
How To ... START YOUR OWN JIHADI MOVEMENT!
1. Misconstrue the term ‘Jihad’.
2. Find other like-minded imbeciles.
3. Set up a committee.
4. Call it the Supreme Committee.
5. Do not disclose it is a committee of imbeciles (Bad for recruitment).
6. Propose a name for the movement.
7. It must begin with “THE ARMY OF … (some suitable arabic word)”.
8. Set up a website to create fanbase.
9. Issue press statement to inform the world that there is a new kid on the block.
10. Email must begin with “… O’ Godless / Western / Dajjal / Satanic / Christian / Jewish / Zionist / Masonic / Illuminati (please cross out where not applicable) … Media”.
11. Set up ‘training camp’.
12. Shoot video of military training. Preferably poorly recorded and shaky.
13. Misuse religious hymns and songs as background music.
14. Post video on YouTube.
15. Find appropriate candidate for suicide bombing.
16. Preferably naïve and stupid. If no one can meet both criteria, pick the naïve one. Stupid candidates are liable to blow up your own HQ.
17. Act sad that you cannot be the one to do the job yourself because you are needed ‘to lead the movement’.
18. Repeat step 15 and onward.
2. Find other like-minded imbeciles.
3. Set up a committee.
4. Call it the Supreme Committee.
5. Do not disclose it is a committee of imbeciles (Bad for recruitment).
6. Propose a name for the movement.
7. It must begin with “THE ARMY OF … (some suitable arabic word)”.
8. Set up a website to create fanbase.
9. Issue press statement to inform the world that there is a new kid on the block.
10. Email must begin with “… O’ Godless / Western / Dajjal / Satanic / Christian / Jewish / Zionist / Masonic / Illuminati (please cross out where not applicable) … Media”.
11. Set up ‘training camp’.
12. Shoot video of military training. Preferably poorly recorded and shaky.
13. Misuse religious hymns and songs as background music.
14. Post video on YouTube.
15. Find appropriate candidate for suicide bombing.
16. Preferably naïve and stupid. If no one can meet both criteria, pick the naïve one. Stupid candidates are liable to blow up your own HQ.
17. Act sad that you cannot be the one to do the job yourself because you are needed ‘to lead the movement’.
18. Repeat step 15 and onward.
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